Bare-knuckled Robots and Distracted Minds—Transformers: Dark of the Moon

For all its manic explosions, swishing asses, Shia LaBeouf having temper tantrums that appear all too real – like director Michael Bay can work him into such a state of anger LaBeouf barely has to act – and, of course, giant robots battling to the death only to repeatedly get shot down by another giant robot offscreen at the last minute, Transformers 3 (in 3D, of course) did not distract me. 

So I would like to say this to you:

If you’re having troubles in your life – emotional or otherwise – don’t see the movie.  Like me, you will spiral down into a dark hole during the first hour and a half.  (Running time: 2 ½ hours)  Your eyes will remain focused on the screen, but your mind will be elsewhere: somewhere ugly, somewhere bad.  And Transformers cannot break you out of the mood that it itself put you in, because the movie has a negative spirit.

If you’re feeling top notch, Happy 4th of July!  Go see the motherfucker.  Why not?  See what happens.  If you are of sound mind and spirit, perhaps as you fade in and out of awareness about what’s happening onscreen, the movie will remind you of a day you played with transformers toys when you were a kid or watched with amazement as your son or daughter turned a robot into a truck.  The salad days

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